Stinky London

I have to admit I didn't notice the stench yesterday, but everyone in the office did.

People in Angel, Shepherd's Bush, Richmond - everyone seemed to have been aware of the smell. This is what the Mail had to say by way of an explanation:

Police, fire and water services were at a loss to explain the manure-scented cloud which afflicted great swathes of the South.

But with the wind in the East, it soon became clear that our Continental neighbours were to blame - and almost certainly the Germans.

Over there it is muck-spreading season for farmers wanting to nourish their crops. In a country where pigs make up the of livestock, there is ample supply of particularly pungent muck to spread.

And the fear is that, if you've already smelt it, things are unlikely to change the rest of the weekend.

German weathermen admitted that a change of wind direction had sent the smell, or "der gestank" as they call it, across the North Sea just as the stuff in the fields ripened to stomach-churning levels.

From the moment commuters set out for their offices and children to school the stink was detected yesterday morning from Suffolk to Surrey, west to Berkshire and even down to the south coast.

No respecter of royalty, it even lingered over Windsor Castle. A spokesman at the Berkshire town's tourist office said: "When I left home this morning the smell was virtually unbearable but we haven't had any complaints from anyone so far. I think the Queen is in. I hope she has her windows closed."

Germany's heavily-regulated farmers have been allowed to sprinkle nature's delight on their fields since February 1. But with the cold winter weather lasting into spring, most have waited until now.

Hauke Jaacks, a farmer in Rissen, sprayed more than 5,000 gallons on his 25-acre plot.

"Sorry about the smell," he told his countrymen. "But you have to put up with it. I need the grass to grow to feed my cattle."

At the German Embassy in London nobody was willing to apologise for the smell. Staff had not noticed anything unusual in the air and pointed out if anyone was looking for another country to blame, the French coast was "much nearer."